Learning to be Buddies

I have moved to a new blog spot.  My new address is learn2bebuddies.blogspot.com

(Following on from previous post)

A Social Story: When I want to play with Blocks

Sometimes there are too many children playing blocks already. I will stay calm and wait until it is my turn.

While I am waiting I will play on the computer or do some drawing.

Social stories

Social stories were first introduced by Carol Gray (1994). Social stories are a way of helping children, especially those with Autism, learn social skills. They can be used to teach children to recognise facial expressions, body language and other social skills necessary for interacting with their peers. 

Education Queensland Disability Support Services (2006) Social Stories. Retrieved 16/04/2009 at: http://www.learningplace.com.au/deliver/content.asp?pid=33083

Billy was building a road out of blocks.

“Hey, Billy! Can I play?” Tim said eagerly.

Billy smiled, “Sure, you can play!”

“What can I do?” Tim asked.

Billy pointed to the end of the road, giving Billy a toy car. “Just sit over there.”

“Okay!”  Tim said as he sat in the indicated space and started running his car along the block road.

Billy was building a road out of blocks.

“Hey, Billy!  Can I play?”  Tim asked shyly.

“Sure you can play!”  Billy replied sarcastically, looking at Tim with a sneer.

“What can I do?” Tim asked falteringly.

“Just sit over there.”  Billy pointed to the very edge of the mat, out of reach of the road and any blocks.

“Okay.”  Tim sat in the indicated spot and watched as Billy turned away to continue building the block road.

Facial Expressions, Body Language and Empathy

The two vignettes above illustrate how the same words, used in different ways, can hold very different meaning.  That’s because communication isn’t just about the words we use.  It is about how we use them.

The same words can have a very different meaning depending on what facial expressions, tone of voice and body language we use.  These things let others know what we really mean, or the intent of our words. 

There are also many unspoken rules we need to follow when we are communicating to get our message across successfully.  For example, we speak differently to a friend that we would to our boss.  We also need to take turns, keep to the topic of conversation and use conventions like “I have to go now” to end our conversations. 

These things all combine to give us the social context of language and are referred to as pragmatics (Scott Lue, 2001, MacKay, 2000).  If a child has difficulty with pragmatics their success in interacting with others will be affected.  Not only will they misunderstand others’ communication efforts, but they may struggle to get their message across without misunderstandings, hurt and frustration.

For example, as we speak to and interact with others we use their facial expressions and body language to help interpret how they are feeling or reacting to us.  As we empathise we adapt our behaviour (McKay, 2000).  So pragmatics helps us tell when someone is not interested in what we are saying, and we stop talking.  Or it helps us realise if our actions or words are hurtful.  It can also help us recognise jokes, sarcasm or bullying. 

But not all children learn these skills in the same way.

For the full article, click here or here.

My latest Learn to be Buddies news

A website, a card game, an edublog, a focus on supporting children with disabilities and ways you can be involved.

I have been neglecting my blog as I have been working on my website.  Make sure you visit www.learn2bebuddies.com.au to see what I have been doing in my absence . 

When I get going with my blog again, I want to focus on talking about the different types of disabilities and how they influence children’s interpretation of facial expressions and body language.  One of the key strategies for helping students who struggle with these things is the use of pictures and/or photos.

With my book I have designed the Feelings Game.  The game is a set of cards that represent four different emotions – happy, sad, angry and brave. Each of the four emotions is illustrated in three different ways. Each card can be printed off as many times as desired depending on the game you are playing or level of complexity relevant to your children.

There are a number of ways to use the cards. One way is to play “memory”, a matching game where children take turns selecting a pair of cards from the set that have been laid face down. If they find a matching pair they get to keep it. Other ideas are suggested in the document accompanying the cards.

Make sure you visit www.learn2bebuddies.com.au to have a look at the cards and for my introductory discussion of this topic.

Each of the following links will take you to a different website. 

Cooperative, confident and friendly: Enhancing the social skills of preschoolers

This is a great Pdf document that give some simple hints and tips when working with children with a range of different disabilities, including hearing impairments.  They first identify the challenges the child may face, then they identify some simple strategies you may use.

Management of your child’s hearing impairment

A pdf fact file from the Australian Hearing website.  There are a number of other fact sheets on this site that may be helpful.

Hearing impairment and school children

This is from mydr.com.au.  It provides a good explanation of hearing impairments, as well as some suggestions about how to support children with hearing impairments in schools.

Children with hearing loss

This is from the Parenting and Child Health website (from the US).  It provides a great explanation of hearing impairments, and provides links and suggestions about resources as well.

Cochlear implants

If you want to know more about cochlear implants, then this is a good site to visit.

Make sure you leave me a comment to let me know if these sites have been useful to you….

In the earlier years of teaching I was working with a young child who had a hearing impairment.  The child had hearing aids, was communicating with speech but was struggling socially.

One of the fallacies about children who have cochlea implants or hearing aids it that they will pick up sounds in the same way as a child who doesn’t need to use these aids.  This is not true.  There are many factors that influence a child’s language development, such as when they recieved the aides or cochlea implant.  It may still be hard for the child to pick up the nuances of language and social interaction as they may process the the sounds and other senses differently.

Later in my career I worked with another young child who had a cochlea implant.  This child also was struggling socially.  In both cases, the child was hitting and pushing other children.

The reason why rules, rewards, “I” statements and so on didn’t work for these children was that it wasn’t getting at the purpose of the behaviour.  In both cases, it was about not having the right language or communication techniques for getting included in other children’s play.

For example, instead of asking to play or asking for a turn of a toy, they would simply stand and watch or grab or hit their way to what they wanted. 

The solution was to teach the children a procedure.

Step 1:  Get the other child to look at you by calling their name.

Step 2: Wait until they look at you.

Step 3:  Say, “Can I play? or “Can I have a turn?”

Step 4: Wait for the answer.

Step 5: “Yes” means you can have a turn now.  “No” means find something else to do, or wait a bit longer.  (This requires a bit of adult intervention to keep the peace and encourage inclusion or patience. LOL)

You might want to read Why is this child consistently aggressive? for more ideas.

If you are a teacher, you have probably experienced working with a child whose behaviour has puzzled or frustrated you.  You seem to be constantly picking up and comforting children in their wake.  You have tried negotiation, reasoning, pleading, rules and rewards, ignoring, “I” statements, time out (oh dear) and the only result seems to be a thinning of your patience and a slow greying of your hair.

So what can you do?  How can you change the situation?

Go to http://amandag7.edublogs.org/why-is-this-child-persistently-aggressive/ for some ideas.